bluesuit_handy: (serious face)
bluesuit_handy ([personal profile] bluesuit_handy) wrote2009-03-06 11:15 pm
Entry tags:

Unsure

Who: Handy and Rose
Where: Hallway/Banquet Hall
When: Evening, after Handy's chat with Jack, and after he meets Temperance Brennan; also after Rose's conversation with Jack.
Summary: Troubled by what Jack said about Rose avoiding the Doctor and about her being from "after" Handy, said Handy decides to seek her out.


Handy left the library sometime in the late afternoon to take up wandering through the hallways of the hotel. He wasn't entirely sure whether or not he was looking for Rose - he both desperately wanted to talk to her after what Jack had told him and, at the same time (though he would never admit it to himself) he was at least a little bit afraid at what her reaction might be to seeing him again (not to mention that, as obvious as it was from what Jack had said, he didn't want to confirm the fact of his own death). He couldn't remember a time as the Doctor when he'd been so shy about anything, but then he wasn't really the Doctor. Not completely. A few speech patterns hadn't been the only thing he had inherited from Donna. For all that she was so brash and loud and brave on the outside, she (and thus Handy) didn't have that old self-assurance that had gotten the Doctor through so much of his life. They were both good at pretending, though, even to themselves, so Handy told himself that he hadn't immediately sought Rose out when he discovered her presence because he'd wanted to spend some time exploring by himself, not because he was afraid that the person on whom he'd come to rely for stability in his thus far very short life would turn him away.

It was good that he'd managed to convince himself of that, or else he might have turned right back around and gone back to hide in his room when he turned a corner and spotted her.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-07 07:36 am (UTC)(link)
Rose was feeling good after her conversation with Jack. It had been emotional, of course, it seemed like everything was with her these days, but it had been nice to talk with someone who understood, both what she was experiencing (at least to some extent) and what had happened to her before this place. He had been a part of her life as no one else in the hotel had been, and spending time with a friend had been something she'd desperately needed. She'd left the lounge feeling relaxed and... content, perhaps. It was like a form of therapy, giving her the reassuring personal contact she'd lacked so completely for the past year of her life.

So of course it made sense that the cosmos would choose this particular moment, as she resumed her wandering through the halls with a much happier outlook on life, to be the moment when she ran into him. He'd come around a corner ahead of her and just... been there. Right there, living and breathing. With those eyes and that hair and those same trainers and...

The blue suit. The blue suit with the t-shirt. She knew without a hint of doubt which Doctor she was looking at, knew when he was from and what he thought of her. Knew that he was the one she had loved, but this was before he loved her, before he'd died and left her all alone with their Little Girl. Rose wanted to rage and scream at the walls around her that had brought him here, but all she could do was stare with unbelieving eyes as she had to reach out to support herself against the wall.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-07 08:05 am (UTC)(link)
He said her name and she was lost. She took a step forward as he moved back in a motion that barely existed but nevertheless screamed at her. She remembered very clearly what he had been like when he'd worn that suit, uncertain about everything in his new life and... He'd needed her, just like he'd said he would. The other him.

Rose wasn't even thinking as she suddenly rushed forward, flinging her arms around him as soon as she was in reach, hugging him tightly the way they always had before. As much as part of her was dying inside all over again, another part was dancing with the joy of seeing him alive again. Alive and in her arms.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-07 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
Rose felt like her world had just been tipped upside down, the furniture on the ceiling glaring down at her in a mocking fashion as she struggled to grasp the words in her mind. "You've talked to Jack?" she managed, knowing she looked as lost and confused as she felt, if not more so. "Jack... Jack told you..." The words died and she had to close her eyes to stop everything from spinning. "I just saw him... he never mentioned you," she finished quietly, pressing a hand over her mouth for a moment as she regained her balance.

So this was what it felt like to be betrayed.

She pressed on quickly, not giving him the chance to respond to her confused babbles. "Yeah, definitely after you," she confirmed, her expression turning into a neutral mask that she'd learned from him. "'ve been on my own now... Well, you, uhm," she swallowed thickly and looked away, "you left. Bout a year ago."

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-07 10:10 am (UTC)(link)
Rose closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath. Remember, she thought to herself, how he used to be. He was always angry, always lonely, and she'd had to work even harder than before to make him better again. That's what was talking now, that innate anger, and not... She couldn't even begin to finish the argument, it sounded so poorly patched together, even to herself.

"You are my Doctor," she told him quietly, her voice full of tension and pain held together by a thread of her own anger. "He left me in that universe just like he left you." She'd never admitted even to Jack how much it had hurt that he'd left her there, and now it seemed she never would. Looking back at him, that anger was in her eyes now, the pain etched into her face. "And yeah, you left me. Why is that so hard to believe? He could do it, so why couldn't you?" She wouldn't admit to the tears in her eyes even if he asked. And she would do everything she could to avoid telling him the truth.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-07 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Her own eyes were flooded with tears as she stepped forward to frame his face with her hands. "They're good, brilliant, and fantastic, all rolled into one," she told him in a voice that shook ever so slightly. She had to stop herself from kissing him; he was still a year and a half away from being that man to her. "They're the best of my life."

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-08 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
It hadn't been why she'd said it, but she'd still hoped that eventually he would come to that decision. If only he hadn't been crying when he'd said it, maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much. "Thank you," she said quietly, curling her arms around him and hiding her face against his shoulder. They were like two lost children, clinging to each other as they fought to find their place in a strange new world.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-08 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Rose glanced over at him, then said, "You didn't disappear, not for me." He'd been there in the mornings when she'd left, and still there in the evenings when she'd gotten back. No disappearing to speak of, not in that way anyway.

"'s one of the odd things about this place," she explained as they went through the big ornately decorated doors into the banquet hall, the smell of buffet drifting to meet them. "People have gotten pulled in from all different points of their timelines, but no one ever went missing outside of this place. It's the Impossible Hotel."

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-08 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
She paused, her hand frozen on the way to scooping some cooked vegetables onto her plate. Oh... right. She'd tried to forget those first days, when things had been so confusing and... Taking a deep breath, she set her plate down on the edge of the counter. "I do, yeah," she confirmed quietly, not looking at him. "I know I didn't back then, and... 'm sorry bout that. But to me..." She turned to face him suddenly. "You are my Doctor, not the other one," she told him firmly. "It was weird at first, I know, and I should have acted differently, but I didn't, and 'm so sorry I did that to you."

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-08 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Rose followed his example and munched on a chip, her grin not fading in the slightest. "But you've gotta sleep sometime," she reminded him with only a touch of evil mischief. "After all, you're gettin' old." And she used her fork to spear a piece of chicken victoriously.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-09 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
Rose was quiet for a moment, thinking, and then suddenly burst out laughing, letting go of his hand to put both of hers on her head. "I remember that!" she said between bursts of sound as she ruffled her hair. "I'd just gotten in and you were trying to give Tony a cookie when Mum came in, so you got double the dose of Jackie Tyler temper. Dad actually hid in the kitchen until the tirade was over."

Oh, it felt good to remember things, to have the memory wash over her while the subject of it sat right in front of her. It made the pain a little easier, which was something to be grateful for when she was trying to hide thing from him.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
"Think it was even better this time, too," she told him softly, wishing they could stay in that moment forever, between pretend and the cruel truth, just enough of both to make it almost believable. "This time you weren't trying to keep me from makin' you sleep on the couch."

She'd been very close to it at the time, too. She'd nearly chucked his dressing gown at him and told him to go sleep in the console room. It wouldn't have been the first time.

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
Rose rolled her eyes and commented, "Oh yeah, 's just what you need: playmates." She didn't even want to think about how many times they'd run into something that looked 'monster'-like and next thing she knew, he was having tea with it!

Standing with a bit of tired sigh, she nodded toward the door. "Right then, come on."

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-19 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
Rose looked back down the stairs, as if waiting for someone or something to come charging up after them. She didn't even know why. Maybe it was that sense that there was something looming over them, mighty and powerful and... destructive.

"I get the feeling that time is very... timey-wimey here," she tried to explain, resorting to one of the terms she'd heard him use on more than one occasion in their years together. "Almost as if... it's different for different people, at different times and in different... places." There had certainly been times like that for her. And what with people going missing and all...

[identity profile] the-blaidd-drwg.livejournal.com 2009-03-20 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
She nodded in agreement, then crossed her arms to keep from going right back into his. "Things'll be better now though," she told him with real hope, however delusional it might be.

"Right," she said a bit louder, changing the subject. "You should get some sleep, and we'll... have dinner or somefin sometime and find some trouble to get into, yeah?" Nothing concrete, but still full of promises. She didn't know how long it would take her to be ready to keep pretending.